Cars 3: Toyota Drift The Movie: The Novel
by Furgus1
Summary: McQueen gets invited to Japan to participate in a car race. Little does he know of what will awaits him there.
1. Chapter 1

**Cars 3: Toyota Drift **

Chapter 1

It was a foggy afternoon in the town of Cars town, where Mater and Lightning McQueen were sitting down and enjoying a cup of hot premium gasoline.

"Gee whiz McQueen, the banana hammock sure is getting full in there yes'sire, it is, yup, no doubt, uh-huh, hmm." said Mater.

"You're pretty drunk in the trunk there Mate...r" replied Lightning with his usual cocky attitude. "You should really stop being such a lightweight." Just then, a male delivery truck pulled up next to them.

"One letter for a Mr. McQueen here." said the mail delivery truck. McQueen grabbed the letter with his hands and opened up the letter with the letter opener stored in his glove compartment for just such an occasion.

"What is it? Did we win something?" said Tomater, the words leaking out his mouth like an uncultured Malaysian man.

"It's an invitation to a big car race in Nippon!" said McQueen, his headlights flashing with excitement and arousal.

"Who sent the invitation?"

"Some guy named Subaru Miyamoto." replied Queen. "Doesn't matter, I'm going. I haven't been in a race since that incident last fall. You remember, right Mater?" Mater's eyes were frozen in a wide stare as he recalled the event.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no"

End of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lightning McQueen and Mater were sitting down at the aeroport, awaiting their airplane ride.

"Hey Mater," said McQueen.

"What is it?"

"I guess you could say we're about to go, _inside_ this airplane. Heh."

"Heh... I don't get it."

"Me neither." said Lightning.

* * *

"Augh, this airplane food is terrible." complained Lightning.

"Aww, it's not that bad." said Mater, food bits flying out of his mouth.

"It tastes like it came out your wife's filthy mouth." retorted Queenie. "I'm calling over the waitress." Pressing the flight attendant button rapidly with his left tire, he impatiently tapped on his knee. Finally, the stewardess approached their seat. "Excuse me, Mrs. Waitress, but the food here taste-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed the flight attendant, running at sonic speed down the aisle and into the cockpit.

"Now _that_ sounds like my wife!" said Mater.

* * *

"HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What is it, Ms. Lady Woman?" asked the pilot, smoking a large cigar while leaning back in his chair, reading ATOMIC WRESTLING MONLTHY on his Apple® iPad®.

"Th-th-the p-passengers ar-are, are-"

"Being rude? I thought you knew what you signed up for when you signed up for this job on our sign-up sheet, you crazy lady."

"No, I'm talking about the fact that two of our passengers are TALKING CARS"

"Hmm? You never got the memo?" said the pilot, standing up slowly.

"S-sir...?" asked the flight attendant, backing up slightly.

"Looks like I'll have to, _inform _you." replied the pilot, as he slowly unzipped his costume. The fake rubber skin slowly slid down, revealing a glossy, clean chassis. "Please remain calm, Mrs. Lady. There might be some, _turbulence_ during the flight."

* * *

"No...No!...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

Mater awoke suddenly in a cold sweat, oil running down his windshield. He wiped his brow with his tow.

"What's the _mater, _Mater?" asked Lightning, snickering at his own brilliant wordplay.

"I, I just had this weird nightmare."

"Nightmare? More like night-_mare_, you freaking girly wuss." Mater remained silent for the rest of the flight, for he could not even begin to comprehend the intensity of the burn he just received.

End of Chapter 2


	3. SUPER OMAKE: Bonus Chapter

Chapter 2.5 Omake Extra : Envoy of a Fiery Beginning: A Look into the Past of Lady Woman

The glinting moonlight softly peeked through the crevices from around the aeroplane. A calm silence hung over the passenger's cabin. Glowing orange lights enveloped the scene and, with the enamouring smoothness of night, created a view that would enthral even the most tenacious of cars.

The atmosphere would be so serene, so romantic, if it weren't for the ever-constant screaming.

* * *

Some 15 minutes ago, a sudden combustion happened near the cockpit. It shouldn't have been possible; after all, nothing highly flammable was to be permitted in the pilot's deck. Yet why? Oh right, Esso premium high-octane gasoline was.

Who would have guessed that cars could pilot airplanes? When revealed the existence of _anothe r_vehicle inside of the aircraft, Ms. Waitress freaked out. Perhaps "snapped" is a better word to describe that situation. In that instant, the flight attendant grabbed the first thing she found in her pocket, a knife, and in an act of desperation and euphoria, swung it around vigorously to fend off the foreign presence. Like an Alaskan harpoon piercing the walrus of yesterday's lunch, the entire length of her six-inch "blade" penetrated right through the still smiling car-airplane-pilot's fuel tank, its black essence spraying high and low.

Yet, that was not the end of it.

"_Shimatta._" said the stewardess, before instantaneously putting on the visage of a teenage boy who accidentally discovered that he walked into another girl's washroom stall.

That was no ordinary knife. It was in fact the 'Flaming Dagger of Brynhildr', given to her as a memento by her departed friend Sazh "Rolls" Katzroyce. Unfortunately, the inbued flames of the dagger passed through the glossy chassis, right into the leaking gasoline. _Ignition._

In less than a fraction of a second, the car bursted into a pool of arcane flames which spread across the central controls, then the windows, then the ceiling, then the cabin entrance. It was a desperate struggle, but even the sturdy door was no match for the ever-growing blaze.

"Urgh! I'll hold it back! Evacuate the passengers! Just go on without me!" it shouted, but it was useless. No matter how much it tries, a door can't speak English.

It wasn't long until the passengers noticed the flames, but neither was it long until they met and had a, literally, heart-burning embrace. Where's your Pepto-Bismol when you need it?

* * *

Infants to old men, ashes to ashes. One by one, the screams of men were replaced by the crackling of fire. In the white Japanese aircraft was a growing red circle of flames, and soon, the conflagration became the plane. For a brief moment, the scenery was just like their national flag, how patriotic.

"No…N-no…It can't-It was their fault! It was those _baka _cars! It was _itsumo_ them! Even after taking _Ojiisan_ and _Obaasan_…even Sazh! And now they're after my life! Go away murderers-_tachi_! D-Don't touch me! 触ないで! " she shouted, but it was useless. No matter how hard she tried, the burning flames could not understand her flagrant mixture of languages.

Soon, the flames engulfed her vision.

And then, an overwhelming blackness.

* * *

Ms. Lady Woman blinked her eyes twice. Three times.

"Uhm…Hello? What happened? You're sweating bucket loads…" said the muffled voice.

"H-huh?"

"I knew that my disguise would surprise you, but I didn't know you'd actually…_faint_"

Ms. Waitress Lady's body was frozen in disbelief, her eyes moving back and forth, trying to get a grasp on reality.

"W-w-wait what? What?_ What? _So before...was that all…a-"

End of Chapter 2.5

_Credit goes to my friend Hugey, who wrote this piece of magic_


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Upon their arrival at the airport of Japan, McQueen and Mater exit the plane and into the 'port.

"Man, that was a long plane ride." says Mater, putting his Ph.D in stating the obvious to good use.

"I'll say." replies McQueen.

"Say, Queenie, did you hear any, screaming, during the flight?"

"Even if there was, I wouldn't have been able to hear it over your snoring." quips McQueen. "By the way, Mater-man, do you think I've been acting a bit rude lately?"

"Uhh, I dunno. Why do ya ask?"

"Some kid told me to be more "in-character" or something."

"In...what?"

"Don't worry about it. By the way, have you ever heard of the fourth wall?"

"Fourth...wall?"

"Never mind then."

Just then, a car rolls up to the two cars.

"Ah, you must be Lightning-san and Mater-san. I was sent here by Mr. Subaru Miyamoto to escort you."

"Well, tha-, wait, what did you call me?" asked Lightning.

"Oh, did I mispronounce your name, McQueen-san"

"Look, just because I'm a _baka-gajin_, doesn't mean you have to add words to my name and insult my heritage."

"Uh, Lightning?" says Mater, "Those are honorifics, not insults."

"I know what an honorific is, Mater-_chan_. I'm just saying that I'm at _least_ the level of a -_sama_."

"Ah, my apologies, McQueen-sama. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Penis-san, but you can call me Nis-san."

"Al...right, Nis-san."

"Now, please follow me." says Penis-san, as he begins to drive away.

"Hey Lightning?" asks Mater as the two walk after Penis-san.

"What is it?"

"Why do we sometimes have human limbs?"

"We were cursed by that gypsy witch that one time, remember?"

"Oh, right. I'm never going back to California again."

"More like Kalifornia."

"Heh."

End of Chapter 3


End file.
